Clam Chowder

I'm not the biggest fan of clams and oysters. Truth be told, every time I eat them my first thought is that they taste like snot. And my second thought is that that's because they really are covered in snot.

This recipe, however, is so delicious I can't turn it away, despite my better judgment.

Clam Chowder

Prep Time: 15 minutes

Cooking Time:

Serves: 4

Ingredients:

2 lb canned clams (weight including liquid), reserve the liquid, and chopping the clams

1 1/2 lb potatoes, peeled and cut into 1/2" dice

2 medium yellow onions, chopped

4 oz bacon, diced

Reserved clam liquid mixed with water to equal 3 cups

1 cup milk

1 cup half-and-half or heavy cream

sea salt to taste

2 tbsp chopped parsley

In a heavy pot, add bacon and cook, stirring, until slightly browned. Add onion, and cook until translucent. Add clam juice and water to equal 3 cups and increase to high heat. Add potatoes and simmer until just soft. Mashed some on the side of the pot to thicken the chowder (this should be your primary source of thickening).

Add milk and cream and chopped clams and heat thoroughly.

Let cool. (at this stage it can be stored for serving later, if you should so choose). Reheat gently (do not let it boil), and garnish with parsley and serve with oyster crackers.

Lobster Bisque

Now, I've had a couple of lobster recipes on here, and I note each time the added benefit of making bisque from the waste shells. Bisque is reasonably easy, in the world of soups. It takes little meat to make a bisque- you can set some aside when making other recipes, because the flavors primarily come from those shells.

Lobster Bisque

Prep Time: 20 minutes

Cooking Time: 1 hour

Serves: 4-6

Ingredients:

2 lobster shells

spare lobster meat (this can be substituted by prawn meat if need be)

1 onion, peeled and chopped

1 carrot, peeled and chopped

2 sticks celery, de-stringed and chopped

2 tbsp oil

2 tbsp brandy

4 cups water

1/2 cup white wine

2 oz long grain rice

2 small tomatoes, chopped (or 1 can)

salt and pepper to taste

2 tbsp cream

Break the Shells:

Wrap the lobster shells in a plastic bag, paper towel, towel, or other instrument to prevent pieces from flying, and then beat them, vigorously, with a rolling pin, meat mallet, or any other blunt instrument until they are in small pieces.

Prepare the Stock:

Add oil to the pan, and soften onion, carrots, and celery. Once the onions are translucent, add the lobster shells and water, bring to a boil, reduce to a simmer, and simmer for thirty minutes.

Strain the stock carefully, using a sieve or cheesecloth.

Cooking:

Use 1 cup stock to cook the rice in.

While the rice is cooking, put the rest of the stock in another pot. Pour the brandy into a ladle and hold it over a burner (or lighter) until it ignites, and pour it into the pot. Add the wine, and simmer the mixture for 20 minutes.

Take the cooked rice and tomatoes, run them through a food processor and blender, and pour it into the pot.

Add chopped lobster meat. Salt and pepper to taste, and mix in the cream.

Dublin Lawyer

Lobster isn't cheap, but it's worth it. I'm not sure if this dish is named because it's what lawyers eat in Dublin, or because it's what they'd like to do to lawyers in Dublin.

You occasionally hear that it is necessary to stab the lobster through the brain to kill them ahead of time. The truth is that a lobsters brain is not centralized enough to instantly kill it when you stab its brain, and that it will still feel pain when you put it in the water, so it's probably best to just steam it.

Dublin Lawyer

Prep Time: 30 minutes

Cooking Time: 20 minutes

Dissasembling Lobster to remove meat: 4 years (or maybe 30 minutes)

Serves: 4

Ingredients:

2 1/2 lb lobster

3 tbsp butter

4 tbsp whiskey

5 fl oz cream

salt and pepper

Cooking:

Steam the lobsters first, as directed when you buy them (if not roughly 15-20 minutes for 2 1/2 lbs of lobster) and left them cool. Cut them directly in half with scissors, and remove the claws and legs. Remove every little scrap of meat from the lobsters, and set aside the body and tail shells for later (you can save any spare shell parts for bisque at a later date).

Melt the butter ina pan and warm the lobster meat (you don't want to cook it more, or it will become rubbery), and place it in the shells set aside.

Put the whiskey in a ladel and set it on fire, and then pour it over thr lobster meat.

Heat cream in the same pan you used to warm the meat, an then pour the cream over the lobster meat/shells.

Serve immediately.

Alternate Method:

Cut the lobters in half and remove the meat raw. Melt the butter in the pan and just barely cook it... God luck with the still moving lobsters which will keep moving as you try to cut them in half.