Braveheart

So... about that Scotch thing. I have been avoiding those recipes, truth be told. It's not that I don't like Scotch. In fact, between me and Scotch I'm pretty sure the word you're looking for is love. But not the kind of love you feel for a sweet girl that never does you wrong. In fact, it's more like the love you feel for a girl who's sold you out time and again, betrayed you, and turned her back on you and just when you think you could tell her off she smiles and kisses you on the cheek and suddenly all seems right with the world.

But here's a "traditional" Scottish recipe, in the sense that the Scottish tradition is drowning a perfectly good recipe in Scotch... making it a hundred times better.

Cauliflower, Cheese, and WHISKEY

Prep Time: 10 minutes

Cooking Time: 1 hour

Serves: 2-3

Ingredients:

1 head of cauliflower florets

6 oz mushrooms, finely chopped

1 green pepper, chopped

1 1/2 cups heavy cream

8 oz grated cheese

1/3 cup scotch whiskey (bourbon will do, but really, scotch is better)

1 ounce oatmeal

pinch of nutmeg

salt and pepper to taste

2 oz walnuts

Cooking:

Boil cauliflower stalks in hot water for five minutes, and drain. Mix with green peppers and mushrooms in a baking dish.

Heat cream until warm in a medium pan, slowly stirring in cheese until cheese has melted. Remove from heat, and add the oatmeal and scotch. Add salt, pepper, and a pinch of nutmeg to taste. Pour over cauliflower/green pepper, onion mixture and sprinkle walnuts on top. Bake for 45 minutes.

Chapter 7 : Scotland

Across the rolling highland hills, we travelled until we reached Edinburgh. British cuisine itself is not all that well respected internationally, and Scotland in particular has a questionable reputation. It's infamous national dish, haggis, is comprised of sheep lung, sheep heart, and sheep liver mixed with oats and packed into a sheep's stomach. The USDA has determined it is "unfit for human consumption" and it is impossible to import or purchase authentic haggis in America. Reently, in Doctor Who, the Doctor delivered the line "you're Scottish, fry something", and the scene cut away to bacon.

I personally must object. Scottish cuisine has one thing going for it:

Whiskey.

In fact, if you search for Scottish recipes around the internet, you'll find that nearly every one contained Scotch as an ingredient. I am almost certain that without Scotch, Scotland would starve.

Before venturing after me, you might think about picking some Scotch up. You'll also find you need some oats. Oatmeal is a staple of Celtic cuisine, and there's no shame in that!

Beyond that, Scottish cuisine is not entirely unlike old fasioned American cooking. It might not be the lightest, but there's no doubt some flavors worth exploring.